Booky Wook 2: This Time It's Personal

By Russell Brand

Selecting up the place he left off in My Booky Wook, celeb and comic Russell model information his swift climb to status and fortune in an incredibly candid, resolutely humorous, and unbelievably electrifying tell-all: Booky Wook 2. Brand’s performances in Arthur, Get Him to the Greek, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall have earned him a spot in enthusiasts’ hearts; now, with a drop of Chelsea Handler’s Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, a touch of Tommy Lee’s Dirt, and a spoonful of Nikki Sixx’s The Heroin Diaries, model is going all of the way—exposing the mad genius in the back of the audacious comedian we know (or imagine we all know) and love (or at the very least, lust).

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It did it at the NMEs (Bob Geldof ), it did it at the Brits (the Queen) and it did it at the MTV VMA awards (George W. Bush). I’ll tell you how we erred at these subsequent events in good time, but for now here’s my forensic analysis of what may’ve got up Bob’s nose. 1. I called him “Sir Bobby Gandalf”. 2. I threw to a VT of his close friend Bono with the line, “Here’s Bono, live from a satellite orbiting his own ego. ” Maybe that antagonised him. three. And finally there was this link to bring him to the stage: “The winner of Best DVD is Bob Geldof. My best DVD is Big Natural Tits 10, in a welcome return to form after the lazy and derivative Big Natural Tits 8 and 9. Of course we ain’t really captured the glory days of Big Natural Tits 1 and 2 – don’t be ridiculous – but all this is academic because the Big Natural Tits series has been overlooked. back. Here’s Sir Bobby Gandalph! ” The moment. At our script meeting I reasoned with Matty Morgs thusly – “That Gandalf stuff and all this rhubarb about boobs will antagonise him” (although they really are spectacular films), but Matt said, “No, he won’t say nothing, he’ll be flattered. ” “He won’t be flattered, Matt, he’ll be incensed. ” I presumed his response would be “There’s only one big natural tit here” – then, turning to element at me, “that prick”. As it transpired, Sir Bob was much more linguistically efficient. As my gung-ho writing associate and I mentioned the chance of a tit-for-tat reprisal from Sir Bob, an incredible thing happened. sometimes as a comic, a line will look as if in a dream, perfect, celestial, absolutely shaped. The line I’m approximately to recite emerged from the mists of my troubled mind like Excalibur. Matt used to be nonetheless busily assuring me that the world’s such a lot notoriously outspoken man would tolerate my childish teasing like a big soppy ol’ sheepdog whilst I, abruptly St Paul, all boastful with epiphany, said, “If he does coat me off I shall simply reply: “No wonder Bob Geldof’s such an professional on famine. He’s been eating out on ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ for thirty years. ” Matt has never been one to dole out compliment profligately; he answered to my burbled boasts approximately Kate Moss with the immortal “Her? She’s a bit thin, ain’t she? ” – but now he was suitably awed. “Fucking hell, that’s brilliant. ” “I know, my son,” I stated all holy. “Shall we placed it into his intro? ” “No. That’d be overkill. But it’s nice to know it’s there if you need it. It’s security – like Clint Eastwood’s Magnum. ” “Russell Brand, what a cunt. ” It felt like the great guy from reside Aid, the man who’d single-handedly saved Africa, had speared me via the a long time. I felt like a bullied nine-year-old, damage and defenceless. Well, you may’ve fed the world but you just broke my heart, Geldof. I was eviscerated, up there. I stood at the side of the stage, white and silent with no recourse. Except I had that line. yet Bob Geldof is a hero, respected by means of millions, the excellent apotheosis of smooth philanthropy, a nice father, a insurgent who stayed true and kept on sticking it to the man even after he made it.

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